seemed to be feeling.
But Evan was pained by her distance, and by the fact that she did not
feel what he felt, but was instead preoccupied with enlarging an
experiment that he felt had failed, at least for him. Although it was
also contrary to the culture of the Human system, where inhabitants
tended to detach themselves from their accomplishments in the same way
they detached themselves from their partners and their progeny, Freida
proposed informing some, or even all, of the Humans that Evan was the
one who had created their system. Perhaps that would raise Evan's
spirits and get him recommitted to his brainchild. Evan acquiesced, but
only to please Freida. His own hopes were fixed more on Freida's
feelings for him than on any social acclaim for his contribution.
When the Aggregate-Counsel was convened to which Evan was to be
presented as the Founder, Evan found himself feeling worse and worse. He
felt he did not understand these Humans. They seemed so distant from him
and from one another, so aloof, so cerebral.
He contemplated leaving Huma, but all he really wanted was Freida, and
he knew that if nothing could bring her closer, his leaving could
certainly only drive her further. He tried to think of an abstract
solution, but abstraction failed him, and he found he could not even
recall what had been system-building's obsessive appeal for all those
years. Everything he called to mind seemed meaningless, empty, hopeless.
Huma had some medical facilities. After his breakdown following the
Counsel, Freida arranged for him to be checked in for some psychiatric
help. They did a routine blood test and found he had very elevated
levels of BNU. The x-rays showed that one kidney had already failed and
the other was enlarged and near collapse. There was no dialysis unit on
Huma, so he was shipped to mainland UK and hospitalized in the
Chalybeate hospital. When his two sisters flew to see him, they found
that his conversation had already become incoherent.
Stevan Harnad
Centre de neuroscience de la cognition
UqaM Montreal