enabling the illness ‘process’ and the fluctuating emotions of the diarist to be followed
over time as they were experienced.
Fear and confusion
The intense stigma associated with HIV/AIDS meant that it was unclear how many of
the diary keepers were aware of their HIV status. Given the low level of HIV testing
within the region, it is likely that few people actually knew their HIV status, and that
those who did felt unable to disclose this to other household members. Studies in
developed countries have found that awareness of HIV status has enabled people to
come to terms with their positive diagnosis, ensure they are knowledgeable about the
potential implications of the illness and actively plan their lives around this (Ezzy
2000; Wilton 1999; Friedland and Bennett 1995). However, this was clearly not the
case amongst those keeping diaries in the Caprivi, and it was evident that fear and
confusion over the long term and variable nature of the illness dominated the
emotions of ill people. At several points in her diary for example, Gertrude recorded
her worries and confusion over the increasing severity of her illness.
I can see that these sores will cause my death because they don’t get any better.
When they finish they just start to grow again. Many people are laughing at me that
its HIV/AIDS otherwise I’d have been cured. I’ve never seen these sores before in
my life - maybe someone has witched my body and that’s why they don’t go away.
(Gertrude, diary extract, undated)
Although it was possible to obtain basic medicines locally, it was necessary to travel
further afield and to pay fees to secure prescribed medication. Ill people were
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