The name is absent



periods, often several years, during which the carer and the ill person were unable to
maintain full involvement in livelihood activities. All the ill people keeping diaries
expressed feelings of guilt and remorse over their inability to fulfil livelihood
responsibilities and the knowledge that the cost of resources diverted to caring and
treatment was threatening household livelihood security. Deeply aware of the resource
costs of their illness, several, such as Patricia, expressed their desires to repay their
relatives once they had recovered for the costs they had incurred.

My parents lost a cow and $1000 for the traditional healers, hospital, transport and
food. My worry is how I will get a job so that I can pay back what they have lost.
(Patricia, diary extract, May 1st, 2004)

In cases, the pressure to avoid becoming a burden to others led to ill people denying
their needs and depriving themselves of treatment. As Henry explains, his mother
refused to go to hospital for treatment, fearing that the household would be
encumbered with the cost of a coffin should she die there.

My mother said that it’s better for her to die in the village rather than at the
hospital because no-one will be able to give us money to buy a coffin. I had to trick
her to go to the hospital - when she realised she was there she was so angry with
me. (Henry, diary extract, undated)

The loss of purpose felt by those unable to carry out livelihood duties, was
exacerbated by the difficulties they faced in fulfilling familial responsibilities. During

12



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