The name is absent

therefore dependent upon the help of others to gain access to treatment, which, as
Claire states, led to considerable anxiety when help was not forthcoming.

My tablets have finished and I don’t know where I can get money to buy more so I
think this will be the end of my life.. ..I asked my father but he said I had to wait. I
am so confused I could easily kill myself. (Claire, diary extract, April 22^nd 2004)

While the changing relationship between the carer and the ill person has been
addressed elsewhere (Thomas forthcoming), it is important to note that the resource
constraints facing the household, as well as the burden and fatigue of long term care
meant that the level of support provided to the ill person varied, leaving them
emotionally distressed when care was less forthcoming than they wished. Several
people recorded instances when they had been left alone in the household, sometimes
without access to basic resources such as water. Photographs taken by diary keepers
recorded the important role played by children in providing a non-judgmental and
supportive role during times when other household members were absent or appeared
unwilling to help.

Frustration and loss of purpose

It is recognised that solicited diaries can provide insight into the taken for granted
assumptions that shape everyday actions and meanings (McGregor 2006). While the
ability to be independent and ‘see for yourself’ i.e. be self-sufficient, had emerged
during the wider research study, the relevance of these issues in influencing identity
and self respect was brought to the fore within the diaries. The nature of AIDS-related
illness meant that over time, the caring and illness process extended over significant

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