The name is absent

if I was upset I mean, may maybe it was such a [2] such a common everyday thing for me
to feel upset that um, it was something you know sort of like um, taken for granted, you
know just sort of [2] part of my psyche. [2] I mean when I was, I remember when I was
about eight, (mm) I, I used I used to feel I I, not sure whether I felt or thought, that the life
I was living was a dream that one day I'd wake up. But interestingly the only specific
change I envisaged, that I w- walked up when I woke up from this dream, was I'd be a boy.
(right) I don't know why I mean you'd think you'd think I'd envisage all sorts of changes
wouldn't you? I mean I used to r- write, I don't know whether I ever gave them to them but
I used to write it, uh, lists of birthday and Christmas presents, such as "don't row, don't
favour [Sister], try to love me". [2] Can't remember whether I actually gave them to them,
I'm, I'm not sure how they'd have reacted if I had, but. [3] And um [2] w- a- at about the
same time I was sent to a child guidance clinic, and again I can't remember why, but uh, I
mean I was taken uh I was taken away from it uh, when I was ten cos my mother didn't
want me to miss any more school, bef- before I took the eleven plus. You know the eleven
plus exam which kids used to have to take? (yeah) Um, last year of primary school. Um
[3] and um [2] about the o- ca- the only thing I remember about that, there's three things I
remember, is that th- th- the um, psychiatrist I suppose she was, [cough] said that, most
pe- most of her children most of the children, either played, there were various toys to play
with, (mm) there was I remember there was a sandpit that you could dig up, (mm) uh, or
talked and she said I used to they said I did b- I did both. (mm) And she said oh, and she
said I I I, I, I w- I, seemed to be quite loyal to my fa- c- uh, I think she said I felt seemed to
feel uncomfortable if I had to say anything against them, so there was so, so, so, there
certainly was enough to s-, to say against them, in all conscious, a-, um, and um, also that
I asked her who gave, you know she had a diploma on the on the wall (mm) with her
degrees on it, and I asked her who gave it to her now very uncharacteristically got angry

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