she said nobody gave it to her she worked for it. (right) I suppose she must have had to
work sh- maybe she w- maybe she had to work very hard. (yeah) And um [2] that's all I
remember about the child guidance clinic. Except that the Christmas after I left, um I I
came back to see everybody, and told them and told them everything I'd got for Christmas
though the only thing I can actually remember was a c- copy of Jane Eyre [2] er which my
i- in which mother had written “love from Mummy”! S- which has always ma- which has
which has always made me feel very sceptical of the value of saying "love from" or f-
people telling you they love you, cos she o- cos she obviously didn't, (yeah) and um, one
one of the staff not not the psychiatrist somebody else, said oh saying “some people have
all the luck”. Which I didn't think I which I didn't think applied to me. [3] Um. [3] Can't
remember why I t- can't remember why I told you that. [laugh] I'm not sure I'm not sure
whether I told the psychol- the psychiatrist about b- about feeling I was li-, living a dream.
Q11. [2] [sigh] [2] Well, I think um, neither of them I think neither of them got any
support from the other. (mm) And as I said before I think maybe the experience of having
a child was not what they were hoping or expecting. Uh, I think possibly the pyloric
stenosis and every and everything and [2] um, meant, you know, meant that my mother
was unable to b- b- to bond with me and sort of and as I said don't know how old I, I was
by the time we f- g- we finally c- came to go back to London and my father saw me I
don't, I don't know whether he um, whether he whether he came out to [Place of birth] to
see me there or, and, sin- since it was since it was not long after the war and he had been
called up of course, (mm) though he was never sent abroad cos he was his health wasn't up
to it, think he was categorised as C3 whatever they called it, but he might still have been
serving, he might not have been able to get away. I mean I assume he was informed of my
birth, but. See the thing is and, but that this is all speculation you see, I mean, after my
mother, when my mother was in hospital, th- the first half of October 1995, and I went to
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